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A petulant child

I’ve been struggling a great deal the past few weeks. Falling off the wagon several times, jumping back on again each time, but still managing to fall.

It’s like there is a petulant child within me, begging, whining for sugar and junk food. Having temper tantrums one minute and desperate arguments with me the next. The responsible adult in me tries to reason with my inner child, explaining the do’s and don’ts, reminding her how junk food makes me feel, etc. When that doesn’t work I try ignoring it. but eventually I just give in so as not to hear the whining any longer. Frustrating!

To add to my distress, I had the flu this week. The dramatic change in temperature of late wreaked havoc on my system. Heat and I do not mix well. So while I wasn’t eating much do to the flu, I got more hungry for, and eventually giving in to junk food…ie “comfort food”. A highly erroneous term since the only comfort I get when eating it is knowing I’m secure in my unhealthy habits… maintaining the status quo… staying within my “comfort zone” of depression, low self-esteem, and low motivation.

Comfort Food = Comfort Zone.

So here I am at the end of a horrible week, trying to kick-start myself yet again! I have a new 12 week progressive workout program, Amazing Abs Solution, that I’m forcing myself to do, in conjunction with my kettlebell workouts. Exercise seems to be the only thing that gets me out of my funk. Of course, while in a funk, exercise is the last thing I want to do. But after a week of being a couch potato, I’m doing the work out, and feeling the hint of renewed spirits and commitment.

The next hurdle is food. I’m totally broke at the moment having just paid rent and my metro pass, so I won’t be able to replenish my much needed healthy food stocks till Thurs. Ugh! Thankfully I just got a new stock of Shakeology packs last week, which is always a good first meal of the day, but my fruit and veggies are down to the dregs, lasting me only a couple more days. However, I still have some soup, nuts, and oatmeal. I’ll survive. The nice thing about not having any money is that, although I can’t restock on healthy food, I can’t buy more junk food either.

Sorry this is short, but since I haven’t posted in a while, I just wanted to throw out a quick update. I’ll put together a new post this next week with some tips on vitamins, superfoods, and proper workouts. Focusing on writing that post will help me refocus on my path.

Have an enjoyable 4th of July, and a great week!

Part 2 of my “Diary of a Sugar Addict” series. If you missed part one, click here.

Admitting I’m a sugar addict was just the first step. But even good intentions aren’t always enough. I had to experiment with all kinds of programs and combinations of eating and exercise regimes before I found what works for me.

As frustrating as it was to go from one attempt after another, I believe that everything I tried provided important knowledge. The more I learned about how the body works and how food affects the body (especially MY body, through experimentation), the better I got at assessing and discerning each program. (Check out my list of resources.)

By the time I read the raw eating books it all made sense to me as I compared it to everything I had learned up to that point. But what really convinced me was test driving it myself. Those first 2 weeks I was eating raw was a revelation to me.

That’s when I realized that I had been in a mental fog all my life. My mind and body had been starving for proper fuel and nutrients. Suddenly it was getting everything it needed and BAM! No more cravings, no more over eating. Add exercise to that and my spirits, energy, and motivation soared.

I’m still reading and discovering, but it is more about finding easy recipes to keep me from getting bored. However, I’m not a cook, and I don’t like to clean. There are far more entertaining things to do with my time. So I eat a lot of whole fruits, vegetables and nuts. For breakfast I drink a Shakology drink with a banana, or mix them together in a blender with some almond milk for a quick recovery meal after working out. (An alternative to Shakology is a quality whey protein meal replacement powder.)

For the rest of the day I throw a bunch of stuff in a bag to take with me to work, and I eat when I’m hungry. Most often I cut up a whole cucumber and put it in a container, put some baby carrots in a baggy, apple, baggy of nuts (almonds, cashews, and walnuts are my favorites), some natural humus to dip the veggies in, and I’m good to go. When I get home from work I fix a big green salad – romaine lettuce, spinach, green peppers, and tomatoes, dressed with olive oil and apple cider vinegar, or lemon juice.

On my days off I like to treat myself to angel hair zucchini (2 small zucchini’s cut using a spiralizer) with homemade spaghetti sauce (~2 c tomatoes, 3 dates – pitted and soaked, 1/4 c olive oil, garlic, parsley, sea salt, cayenne, pulverized in a blender). Yum! I can eat a huge plate full without feeling stuffed.

My favorite dessert, which I like to have after my salad or as a snack on its own, is chocolate mousse (3-4 ripe organic avocados, ~1/2 c agave nectar, ~1 c almond milk, 1 tbls vanilla, ½-1 c cocoa or carob powder – amounts can vary to taste) which will last me a few days. So amazingly delicious! And it doesn’t make me crave sweets. I don’t have this very often. At most I fix one batch per week.

These are just two recipes I’ve tried so far. But now that I have a dehydrator I will be exploring more meals and snacks soon. I’m also planning to get a food processor, and learn to sprout nuts and seeds.

I’m still working out the balance and combinations of foods. I have recently learned that varying caloric intake from day to day is beneficial. Having a few days per week in which you cut back even less on calories helps keep your system from getting complacent. Interesting. I’ll give it a try. However, the main thing is to eat only when your hungry, small meals and snacks every couple of hours throughout the day.

As for my workouts… I was doing a moderate full body workout program I picked up on dvd recently, just to get me started. I hadn’t worked out in over 6 months so it was just enough. But I’ve since gone back to the tried and true The Kettlebell Way to a Perfect Body dvd by Beth Chamberlin. This is the best workout I have ever experienced. EVER! Kicks my butt, but in all the right ways. :) I know it’ll get easier cause I’ve done it before, so my confidence in the program and in me is there. Remarkably, I still remembered my proper form and managed to get through the workout without stopping. It was hard, but I did it.

I workout at least 4 times a week. Anything less and I get antsy. I enjoy the exercise, and love the endorphin rush. But I take at least 2 days to rest my muscles and let them heal.

My weight and inches loss is slow going, so I will have to learn patience, but as long as I’m feeling this good, I’m willing to stick with it and let it run it’s course. Only time will tell.

~Sarah

Next Time: I’ll get into more detail about what I’ve learned regarding nutrition and exercise. Some of the why’s and how’s, do’s and don’t’s.

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